Great post. My partner and I have always alternated who does bedtime with our son. I know my partner would feel he was missing out on important bonding if he didn’t do bedtime and I find it weird than more men don’t feel this way. I breastfed for the first 18 months, which can put the burden of expectation on the mum but even when I was still doing a nighttime feed (it was the last one to stop) I would just feed my son and then handover to my partner. Looking back (my son is now 7) the first couple of years were hard work getting him to settle. Sometimes it would be an hour of sitting with him running his back. It would be unfair for either parent to have had to do this EVERY night. More dads need to step up and say 1) I WANT to do this and 2) You NEED a break.
Yes I agree. I hate to sound like I am adding to the mums can't get anything right debate - but I do think there needs to be a shift in social expectations. I appreciate that some mums want to do bedtime every night but for me the frustration is those that say they 'can't' exercise when they want to, because of bedtime. Yes sometimes we can't do stuff because of family commitments but I feel more women need to say I want to prioritise myself - and like you say partners need to support this. But also as a society we need to support this as well because sometimes partners are super supportive and women still feel they can't prioritise themselves for an hour.
Great post. My partner and I have always alternated who does bedtime with our son. I know my partner would feel he was missing out on important bonding if he didn’t do bedtime and I find it weird than more men don’t feel this way. I breastfed for the first 18 months, which can put the burden of expectation on the mum but even when I was still doing a nighttime feed (it was the last one to stop) I would just feed my son and then handover to my partner. Looking back (my son is now 7) the first couple of years were hard work getting him to settle. Sometimes it would be an hour of sitting with him running his back. It would be unfair for either parent to have had to do this EVERY night. More dads need to step up and say 1) I WANT to do this and 2) You NEED a break.
Yes I agree. I hate to sound like I am adding to the mums can't get anything right debate - but I do think there needs to be a shift in social expectations. I appreciate that some mums want to do bedtime every night but for me the frustration is those that say they 'can't' exercise when they want to, because of bedtime. Yes sometimes we can't do stuff because of family commitments but I feel more women need to say I want to prioritise myself - and like you say partners need to support this. But also as a society we need to support this as well because sometimes partners are super supportive and women still feel they can't prioritise themselves for an hour.